A three in one

Published on Thursday, September 8, 2016

By: Basharat Ishtiaque

BACK WATCHERS ALERT ‚ÄčI'm a girl. A pure bold Muslim Bangladeshi born. I am certainly entitled to live my life my way. No one has the authority over me to make me forgo my rights.

The key thing that affected my life drastically was being born as a female child in Bangladesh. Not to mention, my nation is filled up with male dominated stuck ups, so living and growing up in such environment for a young girl like me is like taking in toxic. I can't project my voice. I can't make decisions. Neither can't question nor can't answer. I am just a piece of meat with no where to be seen. On the top of that the newly terrorism issue kicked in hard! Now I can't at all go anywhere without putting my hijab on. The hijab in this case worked as a shield to save me from possible attacks by Bangladeshi Islamic extremists. How come this be a purpose to wear the hijab? Why can't I go outside in my own choice of attire? Democratic Bangladesh right? Nice joke.

Ladies and gentlemen let me tell you people some dirty reality of my beloved country Bangladesh now. Since I lived there so I know to what extent this filthiness is all about. The nasty mixture of Islamic extremists and male dominance has greatly lashed my way of leading life. I can't speak what I want, I can't dress what I like, I can't hangout with guys, I cannot say to a homosexual folk that "I've got your back", I can't support secularism being a Muslim. Why? Because I am scared and I don't want to die. I don't want a bullet in my head like Malala Yousufzai, I don't want to lose my life like Qandil Baloch for choosing a modeling career. I want to live but on my own terms. If I wear hijab, I want to wear it from my heart but not as a form of protection from extremists attacks. I want to speak my heart out and loud and I want everybody to hear that. I want to freely roam around with my guy friends as well. I want to openly back the homosexuals in Bangladesh cause they too have the right to live as much as we do. Hatred for me is emerging. Hateful feed-backs followed by threatening remarks are all piling up. I am the new under cover atheist for them now. I am the very new Taslima Nasreen in town. I am like the newest person to be rotting in hell fire. Why is being secular feels like jumping off the roof in Bangladesh? Who else has got my back now?

SAYING A BIG NO TO MARRIAGE ‚ÄčIsn't it amazing to be in love with someone? Isn't it the most meaningful relationship you ever have with another person? But just think for a while that aren't there so much more than a women can wish to achieve before settling down with a suitable mate? Getting married is so easy these days but the challenge remains making the marriage work for a lifetime.

We brown females have been drilled with the idea that marriage is an achievement from a very tender age, which is why I didn't even question it when I started to grew up. But, now I do, proudly.

Decades back the only way for a woman to secure her life was to get married to a decent man who would look after her, pay for her expenses and cravings and whatsoever. However, if you look today's scenario you can relate that when a man and woman stand equal and us girls can pay our bills and look after ourselves, we shouldn't regret back to living the way we did when we exercised no rights. Today we have other options in our hands. You can always and always settle down with the person you're in love with but always give a second thought about it.

Falling in love could be a person's ultimate aim and it's absolutely understandable but marriage should never be an only and ultimate option for a woman. Not all the beings in the world are fated to get married. Not everyone of us are fated to be happy even after getting married. Be that our soul mate or a stranger. If you take my example, I am a big fan of the chapters 'love' and 'marriage' but they are never my thing. For those reasons I tend to oppose the fact of getting married. For me getting married cut your wings to some extent, pushes you away from your cozy comfort zone and makes you a weaker soul as you start to depend upon that person. The definition of being married to me is that it would manipulate your ways of leading your life, your friends, your job, your career, your habits, your interests etc. You will be trapped in the bindings of adjustments, compromises and commitments. Freedom seems to be taken away from your life. You can no longer breath in independence. Self-rule would be going away from your grasp when you'll have a partner beside you. To me, married sex lives fade over time, which in turns lead to affairs. Research found that this has even been found in the most well-intention-ed people too. In the state of being married you can't put one's own personal need first.

Well a lot of guys would strongly disagree with me and I don't blame you people but if two people in the marriage are determined to cope with negativeness, then they can always last through the good and bad times. Maybe I am unfortunate that I don't believe in marriage anymore. Lastly, I want to conclude by stating one of my favorite quotes which I am pondering upon. One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry by Oscar Wilde.

IGNITE How would you react if you see a girl in hijab blowing out smoke rings in public? Let's talk about another scenario, now think of a girl, an average one, not covered in hijab of course, doing the same?

Yes we are going to have two different opinions and you know why is that, it is just because of the attire they are wearing.

If a girl in hijab wants to smoke, wants to party, wants to play soccer, wants to sing then just let her do that. Who you are to stop her or to pass a filthy judgment? It is completely her prerogative. If she's a believer of "Judgement", it's again her choice to lead her life as she likes.

You see we human beings are becoming dirtier than the sewers just by judging ourselves and by passing useless comments. Why we can't take anything so simply?

We are just too busy searching for faults in others, where as we are completely ignoring our ones. Let me now convey a message of Allah since I'm a strong believer of Him.

The religion prohibits back biting and it is also considered as one of the major sins a human can ever commit. Oh yeah it comes in with a great pool of punishments too just to let you know.

My point here was, our society have grown a tendency of bringing out others mistakes and hiding theirs. The degree of this problem has alleviated in such a way that it is existing in all class and categories of people from the prime ministers to against party leaders, from Wahhabi amirs to Sufi samrats, from Barbers to sweepers, from Atheist individuals to Non-Atheist individuals; Why people can't live at peace?

Why do I have to fear the people if I want to smoke a cigarette having a modest piece of cloth on my head? Why?

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