Thank You for Discriminating

Published on Saturday, 27 April 2013

This write-up was posted previously in my own blog. This was actually my very first blog. However, it is technically my second post in this site. The previous was "Closet Case: An Experience of Coming Out of a Bangladeshi Girl"  posted in Mukto-Mona last December.

Have you ever had the feeling that you have so many thoughts running havoc in your tiny little brain that at one point you feel your head's going to explode? Of course it does not, and the thoughts just zoom around leaving small bumps on your solid skull. This happens to me a lot and so I added a new thought in my very own thought jungle and asked myself what I can do about it. The answer is "Blog!! Instead of bothering yourself with stupid yet sometimes philosophical thoughts, go bother other people and waste their time! OMG I'm so intelligent!" Yes, some of these thoughts are quite narcissistic.

So the thought of the day- "Discriminations, stereotypes, and bizarre comparisons"

My sexual orientation is not what majority of people might display. If I could be a bit less subtle, I would say I'm into girls. And me being a girl myself, that would make me a lesbian. I don't understand why people have an irresistible urge to shorten words. Lesbians are termed as "les", "lezzy", "lesbo", "lesbi"- How hard it is to add 2-4 additional letters? Is it a means to insult us? I don't get you, you straight people…

See what I did there? No human being should be defined by their sexual orientation. And people have got to break out of the stereotypes! Just because I'm a lesbian that does not mean I'm ugly and I cannot get guys. Or that I'm a tom-boy. Or that "it's just a phase". Boy, I hate that term! Who has ever told a straight girl "I understand that you have feelings for a guy. It's okay. It's just a phase." Why would anyone even think they have the right to tell anyone how they should feel about a certain person? We know the rules, the restrictions, and the probable consequences. And even after all these if we still want to follow our heart, why would others be bothered by it?

People are so opinionated about everything; even things that do not affect them in anyway. I have always wondered why, and then I realized some people would say anything to hurt you. For example, this is a very general comment on gay marriages- "What's next? People will be allowed to marry their dogs??!!" I mean, WTF? We're talking about the union of adult human beings and where both of them have legal standings. Why would we even compare a person with a dog?? And not only that, homosexuals are also considered to be in the same category as pedophiles and necrophiliacs. I see no logical explanation for this. If it is because all of them have "depraved sexual activities", I've got something to say. Pedophilia is having sexual feelings for children, which is sick by itself. If pedophilia leads to molestation, it leaves harmful impacts on the psychological well-being of the victims and can be considered as rape since it is a form of non-consensual sexual activity. Necrophilia is having sex with dead bodies of people who might have resisted it if they were alive. But since they are not, their bodies are being abused as such. Whatever activities that go on between homosexual couples are consensual. And sometimes it does involve real feelings, just like many straight couples. And then there will be some self-righteous people who will bring in religion. We are who we are. If it were a choice, do you honestly think I would have "chosen" to be with girls? What benefit would that bring me? I'm in constant fear of my friends banishing me, my family banishing me, the society banishing me. If it was up to me, I would have chosen to be straight because that would have made my life a lot easier. But no one chooses their sexual orientation. A straight guy would not wake up from sleep one day and decide he wants to date a guy.

It does seem I have a lot of suppressed grudges. But being a lesbian in Bangladesh, I actually have to face discrimination in multiple levels. Apparently if a girl does not get married by she's 24 (the cut-off age today is 24 in urban areas), it becomes a matter of great concern, not only for her family, but also for the relatives who really are not supposed to have a say in this. These relatives actually try to come up with absolutely absurd reasons for this unholy problem. I actually tried to inject one rumor among my relatives that I was dating a foreigner who's currently in Europe, waiting for me with a diamond-studded wedding ring. But my mother kind of stopped me from it. Marriage is a life-changing decision and one of the major steps of our lives. Would it be right for any girl to get married just because their relatives might say things behind their back? We know about the medical consequences, but it's still our life. Shouldn't the decision about whom to get married to or whether to marry at all reside on us? Because when the big ceremony is over and everyone is happily fed and gone to their houses, no one would actually care how the bride or the groom felt about the whole thing. Believe me; I would like to get married with the person I love. I would like to have a family of my own. But thinking about having a same-sex household here will be like pursuing a utopian dream. People will throw stones at my house!

I really don't understand the concept of hurting people who have done nothing to cause you any harm. So people, please stop discrimination. And stop comparing people with animals. I know it's easier said than done, but I like to stay positive. Before I go, I want to quote a scene from "Friends", which happens to be one of my most favorite shows, and it's a bit relevant to this post of mine. Well, not so much, but it's still funny-

Joey: "If the homo sapiens were in fact "homo" that why they're extinct?" Ross: "Joey, homo sapiens are people!" Joey: "Hey, I'm not judging!"